Then I remember I like my laptop and return to a state of being resembling sanity.
The truth is, the internet has become the most powerful means of communication. I can honestly say that at least 5 times a day, my sentence starts with "I saw on the internet that..."
To be fair, a lot of the time that starts a sentence that refers to a meme or gif or juicy morsel of gossip. But thanks to friends Bennett and Erika (as well as a few others, these two are just the most prevalent, and I know they're frequent readers) this sentence can also introduce a solid piece of information that I'd rather learn from bbc.com than Fox News, so thanks for that.
But now, I'm going to use it in a different way. I saw on Pinterest a quotation that read 'When I saw you, I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew. - William Shakespeare'.
Not to brag or anything, but I did an independent study comparison of The Bard's four greatest tragedies. And I studied three of his comedies the semester before. I'm incredibly familiar with his work. That's not to say I've read every line of every sonnet he ever wrote, or even to say I can name all of his plays without citing a source, but I know the man's style. And it is blasphemy to accuse that of even the remotest similarity.
The rhythm is all wrong, the wittiness is just not up to par. The supposed origin of the phrase is Hamlet, Act II, Scene ii, most likely when Polonius is reading Hamlet's love letters to Ophelia. Here's what Shakespeare actually wrote:
'Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.
'O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers;
I have not art to reckon my groans: but that
I love thee best, O most best, believe it. Adieu.
'Thine evermore most dear lady, whilst
this machine is to him, HAMLET.'
You see that and think Shakespeare would settle for "you smiled because you knew."? Bitch, please.
I did the research and found out that the true origin of the conspicuous quotation is Arrigo Bolto, who admittedly wrote operas based on Shakespeare's works, which can maybe justify the confusion. Beyond that, I'm baffled.
What I've figured is that the people on the internet want to believe it's Shakespeare, save for all the other lovers of Shakespeare who pegged it as a fraud. And to be fair, it's a lovely line in its own right, just not Shakespeare. But essentially, Shakespeare is a romantic figurehead. He's written what some argue as the greatest love story ever told (and if they're referring to that of Juliet and her Romeo, I'd beg to differ) and also sonnets that quite frankly make me smile in my sleep. The modern quotation embodies this romanticism that the hopeless of the internet eat up like Dove chocolate squares, and instinctively associate with the poetic romance of Shakespeare. They can't help themselves, it's like placing a pint of Ben and Jerry's in front of them with free yoga pants.
My point is that the internet lies. It's nothing revolutionary, but it's still relevant, unfortunately. Books lie less, and that's why I'd rather put up with book dust allergies than computer viruses.
And fair warning: My next few posts may be tied to Tess of the D'Urbervilles.
Also, for more fun quotations that aren't actually Shakespeare, check this LINK out. Some guy took this post and gave it steroids and a publisher. It's awesome.
